How to keep the friendship relevant when your friends are taken off the market
Just because you are one or the other, doesn't mean you have to miss your "Gal Pal Time".
I am happy for those of my friends who have found their other half, and I'm supportive all the way. Otherwise, what kind of friend would I be? However, there's this underlying problem that tends to cause grief and discontent due to our marital status.
Some couples will create tighter circles with other couples and singles will do the same. Society makes it seems that the two worlds simply can't understand the other. It's as if there is no co-mingling between the two worlds. No one said it had to be that way.
Also, who said that just because we are in love with someone, we have to be glued to their hips constantly? We can be independant and in a relationship at the same time. Hopefully, it's not stemming from trust issues or they are one of those couples who want to do EVERYTHING together (nothing wrong with that, most of the time). One thing is for sure, we need not jealous when we are separated from our significant others, otherwise, why are you together? (That's a totally different topic though.) You've got to be able to put down the phone and spend time with the one's you're with, he's not going anywhere.
Now that we've established the importance of not leaving each other behind, there are plenty of ways we can overcome this dilemma of how to keep our girlfriends close no matter what their status. It really is elementary.
Hey, how does this Sunday work for you?
First, lets just remember one does not change personalities once they are taken off the market. Priorities just get moved around and we have to adapt to the times. Make plans,so everyone can join in. Giving a bit more of a heads up to a nonexclusive event is not going to put anyone out. It just means marking off your calendars and letting everyone in on the deal. This way, everyone knows and respond accordingly.
Ladies Night isn't just about hooking up and cheap cocktails.
It can still be just as fun with a mix. Plus it's wrong to think that the "locked down" and married ladies won't know how to roll with the night or even be your best wing woman. Sometimes, when they are approached, they are the best in diverting attention towards you since you are available. Then there's the point where we all want to put on our dancing shoes and rock the night away.
It's not always about sports.
Sometimes, both men and women enjoy attending a sporting event together, but there are other outing that both single and in-a-relationship friends can do together. Find events that your significant other's can partake in at the sametime, like the Art Walk, going to an amusement park or a comedy show. These types of plans create many levels of conversation and mixing up interactions that might not have happened. No one cares if you are with someone or not and it's not a third wheel kind of feeling either.
My boyfriend/husband has this new friend I want you to meet.
Awesome, be open if your girlfriend wants to introduce you to one of her man's friends (it's more of a compliment than out of pity). Some people take offense to this idea or simply don't want to be set up by friends. Who is your best ally if it isn't your friend? We're not all legit matchmakers, however you never know if they will be the one. We never know who will come across our paths, so being turned off to the idea could be your worst move. Plus, Double Dating relieves a lot of pressure when it comes to interacting, ie no weird/awkward environments.
So in conclusion, get your single girlfriends in on your new love life experience. Have them meet the guy in your life, and the sooner the better. This way, your single friends don't feel as if they don't matter anymore. We all need our friends and it's important to have a healthy balance. Ending up without any friends simply because you didn't make any time for them due to your change in marital status, is just one road no one wants to walk down.
- You & Me
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